invisible protection

there is no one out there can hear me.
there is no one out there can read me.
there is no one out there can feel me.

give me..
give me...
give me a chance to choose...
give me to fall down.
give me to feel how pain it is....
stop giving me all those excuses.

all because " i love you.. " again.

warm WARNING to ME....

no cold FnB which include :
no icecream
no ice chocolate
no ice kacang.
^^ reduce the pain on ankle.

concentrate in studies:
no comics
no megazines
no pressing mobile phone
no chit chatting.
^^ so can fly together to uk.

healthy lifestyle :
take 3 proper meals on time
less sweet
less sugar
less salt.
^^ because want you to be chubby.

simple .. easy.. and joyful... ^^

it is OKAY....

annulment,separation,break-up is common in life.
there is not a misdemeanor when going to end the status.
what's so surprise when people anounce it?
give people a encouragement smilling face to bring them up.

human being is curious on every thing new.
human being is too inquisitive.
and excessively eager to find out about other people's affairs.

spring comes and goes.
welcome autumn.
say bye to summer.
and wait for winter...
life is going on....
that's how great the life is...



p.s
dont cry..and stay well with the two babies... ^^

ARE YOU READY...?

jealousy.
envious.
green-eyed.
covetous.
resentful.
green with envy.
desirous.
bitter.

all of you are coming to killing all of us.
we paid all our hard work
the hard work made it achieve the status we having now.
please go away from me.

be careful.
be cautious.
be wary.
look out
watch out.
take heed.
think twice.

all of this are just too little...
too little to be applied on daily life to pretect ourselves.
let's us hold our hand tightly and build the fence...
defend-ing...to ensure we are safe.

A F R A I D

it not too long before i point it out.
you force to fake
fake to give me a smile
fake to give me a laugh
everyday in my life.

i never stray too far from you.
when it wasnt even whole to start with
i am afraid
i watched you
i heard you cry
but i didnt catched you
i was so young
you never thought of my pain
and you let go

i tired the hardest thing.
hardest in forgot everything.
i am ashamed of my life because of you.

D R E A M

Butterfly.
a injured butterfly.
unlike the spread freedom.
love was even more heartbreaking.
there are more detail can be.

autumn harvest leaves all over the floor.
it is another night i am missing you out there.
originally with the seperation.
tear off the pages slowly.
regret with all the word had taken down.

holding back the feeling.
i do not cry.
cried a long time will be tired.

this season.
only thought of you.
a cup with full of adjournment.
and bring me emotional fragmented.

- Go - Went - Gone -

I don't since when came up with that
but we were obviously on the receiving end of some harsh words.

Ya - I am fine.
definately.
exactly 100% in a good condition.
come in to my blood-pumping organ,
i am not actually...
I've written and rewritten this post a hundred times.
million and another million times.
break throught my mind.
I just cannot find the words to adequately describe how I'm feeling...
I really hope this comes out coherently!

I understand that we live in a world.
we need it or may not need it.
And because of this, I can assume that the majority of people out there seeking of it.
can just take it as a 'mistake'...?
it the mistake to lead, guide , build in the character of individual..?
is a CLUE for us..?

And this is where it starts..?
So - how do you treat someone you consider to be a mistake?
Do you ridicule them?
Do you call their names?
Do you consider them worthy?
Do you see them as a peer or someone to be 'put up with'?
Do you get to know them?
Do you even see them, or is ignoring them better?
Remember - this person is a 'mistake',
they weren't supposed to be in the first place.

But how does the world view from him?
How will they treat him one day when he's out there without me by his side?
Will they call his names?
Will they respect him?
Will they 'put up' with him?

More importantly - will they to pay respect to this?
Will he able to explain to them what was happening due to this consequences to be heppened?
Will I able to explain to them what was happening due to this consequences to be heppened too?

i found that - they are not interested on this too.

too much frOm yOu

I would say that I am definitely someone who finds it more comfortable living in my head.

And I often find I miss out on life , either in the past or the future.


Having said this,
I've always been good at imagining my life,
creating an image in my mind of how I wish it could be,
what I would do given the chance... ?
Now, this could be good and it could be bad....

But I've also learned that dreaming is not always practical.

it often takes up the valuable time I could have spent living.

And I've learned that sometimes our dreams cannot begin to encompass what is actually in store for us.
I kept drawing a blank.

So, you were taught me to live in the moment,
a lesson I try to apply to my life everyday.
A lesson that I find most challenging...
I know that nothing I dream of can compare with....
what I have, right here, in front of me.

Coming Up for Air

The water flows around the rocks and pebbles.
No fight.
No trying to move the rock.
Just flowing, peacefully, around the rocks and pebbles.

So -
I'm going to try to be the river.
Flowing peacefully around those *friggen* rocks and pebbles.
I'm going to try to remember
and really believe that I don't always know best
and that everything is perfect as it is.
I am going to try to let go of my ideas of what's best
and accept what is infront of me and celebrate in spite of myself too.

I'll just go and print the bolded-italic words up there
and stick them to every surface in my house
remind myself incase I forget and want to cry...

WORD

Every now and again
I read something and the words speak to me
they literally pull me out of myself
and demand that I awaken from my subconscious-mind and take them in.

These kinds of words are like water,
replenishing my internal reserves,
fighting against any famine that I may find myself in.

These kinds of words are meaningless on their own,
but when strung together,
they leap out and embrace me
urging me to remember
why I'm here and what I'm trying to do.

Words have always had that effect on me,
and these are no different:
The very least you can do in your life is to figure out what you hope for.
The most you can do is live inside that hope,
running down its hallways,
touching the walls on both sides.

Addicted

once the habit start,
it is hard to stop it.
it is a hard habit to break.
it is highly addictive.
because i think hard to do so.
please go away from me.
you are the one who killing me all the time.
i hate you.
i cant stop quit you.
may i know how am i going to break it?

i DO mean it

i mean it..!!
i really mean it..!!
i am not direct to telling YOU.
but i do mean it..!!

BEFORE
i am regret that i have not much time to spend with YOU.
i do not know how important of YOU to me.

CURRENTLY
i am enjoying the time we spending with.
i am appreciating YOU.
thank YOU so much.

FURTURE
YOU may apart from me one day.
to ensure that i am high-ranking in your heart.
YOU have to keep me in your heart.

Used to bear of it

Are you doing the same thing as me?
the gap between us getting far away.
i am wondering here.
are you feeling that too?
dont have to worry.
two years time may pass quickly.

since the first step, both of us already know that.
our way are different.
our dream are different.
our challenges are different.
our strategies are different.
there is no U turn anymore.

same routine are passing by everyday.
same sentences are repeating everyday.
feeling are keep changing day by day.
i am not sure....
i am going to be better or otherwise.

this is the last call.
i do not want to do this anymore.
i used to left you at the back door.
you can tell me you are sorry.
but i wont forgive you anymore.

Be caution.

CRASH

the time i that hope to spend with you.
you rejected me.
and this is the time that i tell myself.
i will never ask for you anymore.

i going to my own way.
nobody are there be with me.
are you there?
are you there?
are you there?

you are willing to do anything for other.
go ahead.
i will never stop you.
by the way, you cant stop me as well.

i want every thing new

still have 5 days left, i gotta drive back to college and attend class like usual.

i felt bored to the environment, people, life style...

i do not know what may be change once i back to college?
i am afraid.
and i do not feel want to be back anymore right now.
it that a signal to me not going back to college anymore?

i saw people around me are comfort and enjoy to what they having now.
a colourful, cheerful, life to them.
what going on to me?
i am tired definately.
i have no aim in my life suddenly.
IT IS TIRED.

I fOuND yOu

a friend who i never meet for around 7 years.
every things come to you are so easy.
what you want.
what you get on the spot.
a gal who came from a wealthy family.

a friend who i speaks rudely to her.
because i have to talk by using her way.
i not that comfort with the way she talk.
but i never try to tell you.
because i respect you and i care you.

a friend who i disappointed to.
and you never care about my feeling.
change the way you speak to people.
i wish i got a good chance as what u got always.
i promises i will do better than you.

YOU grab me off

goodness..

YOU grab me off..
it was happening in one year ago.
please forgive me.
i never realises.
i am so sorry that i hurt your feeling.
i should not go back to the same routine.
tear dropped.
every thing had gone.
it was too late to know every thing by now.

Caring always be with ME

Walking along the beach.
taking a freshing air along the beach.
waiting for sunset.
have a break and relax.

i never seen a sunset shine as this.
i never felt the warm before.
i never felt a feeling so right.
but i can feel you be with me.

i cant make myself to fall.
i need to stand up right no matter what.
caring from you is the main motivation for me.
all because of you in my life.

Turn to the LEFT or RIGHT

i am lost..
anyone can help me?
NO..
i clearly know that there are no one can help me in this.

people, can you share with me what are you doing when you in 20th years old?
are you is the one still get pocket money from parent?
what do you think you need to do right now?
and take action on the spot?
what is your dream when you in this age?
how to u accomplish your dream?
make sure your dream comes true.

you definately cant go all over again.
if you going to the way which you already chosen.
do your very BEST and FINISH it up until the ending.
STOP find any excuses..
do not simple give up your life.
make your life as challenging as possible.
make your life as colourful as possible.

i am standing on top of the mountain.
i am feeling fresh.
i am inhaling freshing air here.
i am trying to figure out the way out.
and i am STRUGGLING for everything i needed.
stay calm.

RECHARGING myself.
i have to go all the way alone.
speed up...?
slow down..?
or keep constant..?

FULLY CHARGED.
the journey will be started too.
look on me and watch me out.
care on me and guide me.
what a really big deal will be happen to me next.
wish me have a nice journey.

wealthy VERSUS education

how to make money?
how many million billion ringgit then will be consider enough?
when i have a chance earn my first million?
give me a chance to fall in social and feel the pain..
let's me go...

study and get a certificate, it helping you in..?
a place for you gain knowlegde and strongthen your mind to fight for your dream.
without a certificate, you are no value in social.
nowadays,every company judge employee by certificate.


such a cruel world.

millionair,may i know what in your mind?
are you really happy with the status you having now?

people,when is the last time you make a donation for those person who really need help?
for those do not have food, water, shelter, clothing, education and...
people.. use your heart to feel the world..
your life is already fulfill with all the basic needed..


what do you need somemore.
roaring started from the earth.
mind your behaviour and do your own part always.

YOU are not the only ONE

it was a game..

i was awoke from the game..
it used one week time...

i have to come back to you nicely.
you are the one that i trusted.
you are the one stand by my side whenever no matter what.
you are the one caring me most.
how come i hurt you in this way.
i gotta to say " i am sorry" to you?

you are getting serious in the game which you are involving now.
for me, i am not that fully supporting you in that game.
hope the game will be ending soon.
you are not qualify in this game.

later on,i will see you.
wish everything back to the normal.
hope everything are going smoothly.
discarding all the unnecessary infor that from my cell phone.
start all over again..
be smart, be wise, be knowledgeable.

Friends... Where Are YOU...?

Days after days...
Time past away........

everyone busy fighting for their dream..
anyone are willing to stop for a second to look around what is happening?
and concern to the people who care about you?
absolutely, i am the one.. =)

ALONG THE WAY, many friend comes to me.
BY THE WAY, they leave me as well..
eLiJoJo gotta take it easy...

FRIENDs are easy to get..
but what about true friend..?
a true friend is never hurt you.
and will be stand by your side whenever.
the one who willing to solve anything with you.
listen to you when u are down.

for me, i do not know how to maintain the friendship.
i just trying my best to treat everyone as good as possible..
i stay cool and keep quiet, does not mean that i never think about you.
and i will do back the same thing if the person who never appreacite me.
i wont keep bad memory..
the good memories is only kept in my mind..
so you have no to worry that i recall back..
even thought i recall it, i not that dare to mention it to you anymore..
to prevent another war will be happen agian. xD

Phone From YOU

3am
i hate YOU giving me a call at the moment..
because i do not hope to see you in my life anymore...
the person who do not know how to respect people.
i cant stand with it.
how come i can be with a friend who act so rude to myself?
such a man who is not gentleman..
are u a educated person.
i wont let him to get into my life and keep hurting me anymore..!!
please get out from my life..
before you are everything for me..
but now....
you have to go in to recycle bin... ^^
thank you so much...


5am
another person who calling me in this momont...
he is a warm,cheerful person..
i do not know much about him..
i know him is just that short period.
if i not mistaken, it is around one and half year..
i do hope we can keep this relationship longer..
or maybe will be any improvement in our relationship.
i will get try on it..
thank you so much..

7am
my mobile phone vibrating...
it is a sign for receiving a message..
without reading throught my mobile phone..
i can got it all right what is written in my message box..
he is everything for me sometime..
he is nothing for me sometime too..
then what character he play in my life..?
it have to depend on the time..
it only can prove to me...
thank god sending him into my life...
thank you so much...

I am appreciating everything in my life..
no matter it is bring me sweet,sour or bitter memory...
i believes this is give me a good lesson,guiding me and bring me go throught the whole world..
and go through whole world without FEAR..
thank you...

Days Without High Heel

Ladies.. how do u feel when the day without wearing high heel?

I am sad when the doctor telling me stop wearing high heel in coming one month.

Men..how do a lady to attract you if she without her own personal high heel? =)

I have no confident when the time i walking on the street if without my high heel.. =(

Time go by.... High heel will be back to me soon.. i miss you...

eliJoJo

Close Friends → Crush → Relationship → Heartbroken → Barely Friends





thank you friend..


i trust myself..


i wont mind how the way you treat me..


i understanding well on myself and what i am doing right now...


BRave


you are the one who i say NO to you..


and this is the every 1st time i say no to you..


How do you feel?


i surely know that you do not mind about it..


because i am not the important one in your life anymore..


thank you because you leave me...


you are giving me a good chance to know about you..


finally... i got a good lesson from you... =) thank you...